My sadness


On some days,

My sadness is small ;

As small as a teardrop rolling down my cheek.

And on the others,

It’s too huge to fit into my hands.

It stretches, it expands

And becomes a giant monster.

It visits me on lonely nights 

With lilies and chocolates.

It slits my skin

And pulls out my veins

Like guitar strings 

And plays a strange rhythm. 

It sings gloomy songs to me

And makes me eat bitter memories for dinner.

On some days,

It hides inside my pocket like a baby bird;

And on others,

It holds my hand

Like my lover

And we go out for a walk.

It makes love to me every night 

We blend into each other;

So perfectly that 

We become indistinguishable. 

But when I try to leave,

It screams,

Groans,

Cries,

Howls like a wolf.

It throws the crockery at me

And cuts my skin with a knife.

It bites me

And strangles me until I’m out of breath.

Mother’s Love

Behold the wonderful phenomenon of love as an Universal emotion. When love passes through the heart of the mother, motherly consciousness translates it into motherly love.

Reflection of love comes from the one Cosmic Love. The mother doesn’t know why she loves the child; the child knows not why it loves the mother. They do not know whence comes this love they feel for one another. It is the manifestation in them of God’s love; and when it is pure and unselfish, it reflects His divine love. 

True mother love is unconditional. We can say that in many ways it is more spiritual and therefore greater than most human expressions of love. God implanted in the heart of the mother a love for the child that is unconditional regardless of the child’s merit or behaviour.

Mother’s love is steady and unchanged.It is perhaps the human love closest to the perfection of God’s love. The true mother forgives her child even when no one else will. That kind of love exemplifies God’s love. He forgives His children no matter what sins they have committed. 

Who could have placed this love in the mother’s heart, save God?

Common things about me and my dad

Hey, here today I have something, which I really wanted to write since long.  Today I am here to tell you all some things that I and my Dad share in common….

All my life I have been Daddy’s gurl.Still I am…hey, all the men out there who are single…can not understand this…how it feels to be Daddy’s gurl…and all those married and father’s of baby girls…can be proud of, after reading this one…for, this is dedicated to all of them…and also to the wonderful daughters…

Half of the year I have a bad throat…gawwddd how it aches, tonsillitis yap, have a severe problem of tonsils yaar, and each time I get that, I almost loose my voice,but, ye kno I have inherited this from my Dad and then I just become happy saying we have it in our family…my Grand ma had this, My dad has it and I also have it…hehhehe

We both cry while watching movies…both of us are big time movie buffs and very emotional. Each time we watch any movie, even on the slightest of emotional scene we both drop tears. I remember once long back we both were watching “Daddy” in the night at home. When the movie ended and Mom switched on the light she burst out laughing , seeing both of mine and dad’s pillow fully wet with tears and we said to Mom you are not at all emotional yaar…

 Both of us are very choosy. It’s although the other thing that he chooses so fast and always the best..n I take  hell of time even to choose a single dress and end up at second best.

Both of us love driving….he drives slow n safe…I drive rash and bad.

We both have a common person who is the love of our life….yeah! My Mom.

 Rains can make me go mad, I m crazy about rains and so is he…we both love rains…though each time we drench n come inside, we catch cough and cold and then Mom scolds but then…can’t stop loving rains…

All the honky-ponky, crisky-prisky, houtie-toutie, doodle-do things are done by me and dad at home…we make a mess around..now for people who are thinking whadda hell these okie-dokie words mean…hey dontcha worry…just break your nerves…and figure them out.

Ahhaaa!!! Our romance with tea. My Daddy and Me are big time Chaii lovers…ya…we prefer “Cheeni Kum”

Big time readers, anything, anywhere…and we start reading…

He is a master in Mathematics …man!!! Ask him any damn thing about mathematics…. algebra ,geometry, calculus, trigonometry statistics he knows everything about it…He was the only person who developed love and craze for mathematics in me.My second option was a Phd in mathematics if I hadn’t got engineering. He helped me lot for engineering mathematics too.

Both of us are fun-loving, jovial, ready to crack jokes all the time..hey! Dad u have a terrific sense of humour.

Both of us love to explore places, go for adventures and roaming freaks…hahhaha mom is always annoyed with our pre-planned-not-informed-risky-trips-to-her.

Both of us are very short-tempered. He says that I am more than him…can’t help…after all I have inherited that.

Me and my dad loves to discuss things…discuss!!! Yes that’s a different thing that later on it becomes a debate and then a WAR… when we hold different sides and then no one in the world can make me agree with him and also vice-versa…again..Property of Inheritance…

Both of us love to Grab a Tee and a jeans and floaters and roam around, clicking pictures and then later on me finding faults saying “dad u could have clicked it in a better way, from some different angel and he says no this is the best” woteva…

We both are robbers of all the techno-electronic-gizmo gadgets of each other…just 2 days back he took my latest digicam and silently placed his on my place…and I then, as a part of revenge, exchanged my silly Lenovo cell with his hahahhah….damn new Samsung….who’s at loss?  Say dad?

Whatever it is, but then I am proud of my dad for he always gave me the freedom of expression, to fight for the right thing…with anyone,to grow on my own, to take my own decisions and was always supported by him.hey Dad didn’t I gave you all the freedom to argue with me????
 I love when people say that I look like my dad,hehehe coz My dad resembles my Grand Maa and so I resemble her..who is my ideal…and so I love when people say that I resemble my Grand maa…

Another thing we have in common is that I love my mom the most in this world and my dad loves his mom the most in this world!!!

 Still have hell many things to write about us in common and where we differ, but that’s for someother time…

Mom is screaming her lungs out to have my big cuppa tea which is made by her the third time coz it went cold n I hate drinking cold tea…she says I will throw your lappie, else come here…I know she can’t do that…my dad is sitting infront of me ,unaware of what I am typing and winking at me…saying to Mom Chill yaar…heheheheh enuf…

Ciao for now…n I salute to all the Daddy’s in the world…hey you people are great.Love to all daughters…

With lots of Lolzy Polzy Love
Kiran 

Eyes say it all

It had just started raining.I saw him scampering into our garden.He was wet,scared and shivering under the alcove in the shrubs.

Perhaps,he was lost or had escaped.His worn out collar with a limp,tattered black naada had another story to tell.

I lured him with a biscuit,he nervously wobbled out of his hiding,polishing it off.For me,it was love at first sight.

I went inside my house dried him with our towel for guest. I made him lie on a jute sack which was dry and that could give him a feel of warmth. I sensed from the expression in his eyes that he was terribly hungry.

I offered him a bowl of warm milk mixed with pieces of bread. I could sense hunger as he gobbled it off fast. I offered him one more bowl of warm milk with bread pieces. 

The way he showed expression of gratitude in eyes was really touching my heart. I was very much happy to have a companion like him.

“He is my Woof Woof,may be, God has sent him for me.” I squealed with delight.

He was so tired that he felt asleep.

I played my  favourite Adele song,promising to see him,the first thing in the morning. 
And just as suddenly as he had come,he sped into the night, the unknown and beyond. 
I learnt an important lesson this morning … you come alone, learn on your own … fall alone and rise alone too !!

Somewhere along the way you do meet good samaritans who help you on a rainy wet day !! 
To the greatest Guru of all-” Life”

School

I cried when I had to take my first step towards you.
That building of the school, those benches and the atmosphere – everything was new.

I had a way of speaking which was hard to understand, 

I had to muster all my courage to even properly stand.
Days passed, that building grew familiar;

Now I didn’t cry,

Instead, in our uniforms, all we could do is fly.

I loved the blackness of the board and whiteness of chalk,

I loved being with my ‘folks’.

I loved playing hopscotch, drawing square boxes and jumping around.

I loved playing with stones; 

I loved every bit of those days, I was never alone.

Though home works were scary,

But, I managed, at times just barely.
More days passed, that building became my identity;


My uniform became my pride;

Hopes rose high and so did our stupidity.

We had small dreams, just finish ‘boards’ and life would be easy.

In midst of all this we had our first crush, one look enough to make us dizzy.

Love at first sight mixed with innocence;

Love letters were transferred in teachers presence.

Some got caught, some escaped,

But the naughtiness of innocuous days continued.
‘Reproduction’ was to be taught and exams were near,

The attendance reached the summit because of the chapter.

We enjoyed every bit of it, without a doubt,

In that moment we did feel mischievously proud. 
More days passed and we had to take that last step out of that building, 

I cried – we all cried.

Heart felt heavy, mind was numb,

‘Never say goodbye’, we all decided to play dumb.
Those days, we just wanted to grow, run away, to be in college soon,

We didn’t realise then that school was a boon.

We had to grow only to realise that growing is a mistake,

Not something but everything now seems of distaste.
We have cried for years,

remembering every memory that is dear-

That building in which we lost ourselves, 

Those walls that confided in us.

Now that building is memory, that uniform torn, and we are in search of an identity that would last.

Now, we realise, melody was in ‘good morning’ song;

The curves of the six letters is where we did actually belong.

Sweetness was in teachers stick;

True were those bunks, with an application, “with due respect, I am sick”.
I pine, I crave, I long,

For those days that are now long gone.

If it were only memory of those days I wouldn’t mind, 

However it’s me whom I lost and am yearning to find.

Maybe I will find her maybe I will not,

But those days I can never forget.

Tears along with a smile will always roll,

Whenever I look back and think of my school.

Birdy thoughts

I weaved a world,
From twigs and feathers,
Hewn from my beak,
Twined with leaves,
To cocoon you from wind and weather.
A tiny world it was.
Fragile not.
It bestowed you with wings,
And voice and spirit,
Songs of seasons, for you to sing,
With harmony sans lyric.
Flown you have,
Made your choice.
The sky,
Your new world,
And I rejoice.
Your return,
From your worldly sojourn,
I await.
                            
I espy this small nest,
In my big world,
Tucked among leaves,
Under the eaves.
A tiny world it was not.
Fragile not.
It told tales of Wings,
With voice and spirit,
Songs of seasons that I hear you sing,
With harmony sans lyric.
The vagaries of this world you will withstand,
For your world,
I hold,
In my hand,
It is your hearth,
It is my heart.

Diwali

LAMP OF HOPE

Let us kindle the lamp of hope

As echelons of zillion lights adorn,

Pearls of gleams in these autumn nights

To bless us all and rid us of sufferings

Humble thanks to God to give us prosperity 

Let’s share love and delight

People get a chance to express their thoughts 

And reminisces of this festival of lights 

Triumph of good over evil it shows,

Making the less fortunate smile,

Effusing joys to all abound

Where everyone enjoys a royal feast

It seems to be a happy day on Earth

Because I have lit the Lamp of Hope,

This gives me light

Spread this light, there is love for all

True light gives joy in heavenly style

And I wish we feel this way

I will shine for you like a lamp

For the early dawn and the birth of humanity

It provides hope and light for the new beginning.

Ganesh Visarjan (Anant Chaturdashi)

He has packed His bags and is ready to leave.

The streets are filled with devotees gyrating to songs of celebration and music. The air is suffused in vivacious chants of Ganpati Bappa Morya, Mangal Murti Morya! …Bappa Bappa Morya… Mangal Murti Morya!

11 days of festivity has today reached its pinnacle and it’s a big farewell party out there. 

Today is Anant chaturdashi or Ganpati Visarjan, the final day of Lord Ganesha’s journey on earth. Today, lacs of Ganesha idols will be immersed in lakes, ponds and rivers all over the city.

Making His way along with me is Ganesha, The Divine traveler, our friend who has today reached the final leg of His journey, better known as the Ganesh Visarjan.

Lord Ganesha being taken for Immersion

He assembles in the arena and waits for the final proceedings before the visarjan

The diya (lamp) is lit and Ganesh Stuti or Arti (prayer) is performed with a lot of gusto and enthusiasm for one last time.

His face gets a divine radiance with the flame of the diya glowing clear and bright.

Coconuts are broken and He is played Holi with!

His smile, His beauty, His cuteness… His memories are captured

The atmosphere is charged with devotion.

Wishes are whispered and His blessings are asked for.

All religious paraphernalia are removed, one by one.

The final boarding call – A loud chant of Ganpati Bappa Morya, Mangal Murti Morya…

… And He is lifted high

Some lower their heads while He gleefully passes over them

At the Immersion site

Devotees look on with eager eyes,

All hearts crying out to their dear friend — Good Bye… Ganesha

Amid chants of Bappa Bappa Morya, Pudchya Varshi Lavkar Ya,

Ganesha takes His flight back home…

These final moments of visarjan are quite heart warming not only for those who have hosted Him in their house for the past few days but also for people like me who have just been a part of the festival from the sidelines.
A little girl in a pensive mood looks on…

But these are also the moments that, I feel, highlight the real essence of the festival. Its in these final few moments that one can see the message He has wished to convey – The Message of love and detachment, of dissolution and creation, of bonding and separation, of patience and of moving on…

As the day gets darker and night falls over, I see the the streets are filled with the same enthusiasm and are still very much alive with all the party and celebrations,

As I make my way back home amid all these celebrations, A speck of gulaal kisses my cheek…

And I’m suddenly reminded me of a quote by Melina Campos,

Memories last forever, never do they die.

Friends stay together, never say goodbye.

See you soon, Ganesha!

The song of gratitude

THE SONG OF GRATITUDE

“Love so much that the song arises in your being — the song of gratitude.

 Be grateful and sing the song of gratitude so that you can become more and more capable of love.

 This is how one reaches higher and higher peaks, and one day, your love and your song have become one. 

That day is the day where one disappears as a wave and becomes the ocean.

 That is called enlightenment 

All those who have reached to god have reached through love.”

Shirish 

Shirish asked me if I could write about him and I didn’t say a word.

I remember back in 10 th grade how Shirish wrote a poem and left it on my desk just before the morning assembly.

It was royal blue ink on ruled lines and it smelled like the deodorant he used to wear.

Whats me without you?


I have found my world 

There is only you in it

What is me without you?

Just like night with out its moon 

Summer without its sun 

Stopping a flower from blooming when its almost done 

It is like Dalmatians without spots

A piglet with out pooh

It is like Dori not being in Nemo 

That is me with out you

You are my sun, 

My moon shining on me 

No matter what I am going through.

I wasn’t sure if the girl in the poem was me because I wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the entire school. I couldn’t possibly take his breath away.

I had never thought about it that time.

Showing this to my class teacher and my friends would create more issues and would disturb him as well as me.

I remained passive not reacting even a bit. I was more focused on my target of getting above 90 percent in Secondary School Certificate exams and achieved it too getting 93.
He fell for another classmate three months later. 

I tossed the paper away. The last time I saw him was in the Eichsttat Hall on the School Send off Day . It has been six years but I still carry the poem with me.