Introspection 

When I wear the wings of my dreams,

Then I sing the song of my life,

When I hum the tune of my wishes,

Then I write the enchanting words of delight.

Golden hair strands, roll over my forehead,

I carefully put them aside,

This is when, I look into my own dreamy eyes,

I turn to the keyboard, I smile and I write.

 

Flowers of ecstacy, spreads their fragrance in the air,
I look at the thorns, that pricked me, once in disguise,
Suddenly I realize, What I have inside,
The most valuable possession is life…

The curls of my hair, flutter in the air,

The lashes of my eye, blink and I sigh,
Looking at the past is a long lost lane,
I wandered here and there, never wanting to be sane…

 

Raindrops asked me to sit and introspect,
I love rains, I finally have to give them respect,
The winds moved and then took a new way,
I realized my life was simple, yet on a highway…

I look out of my long –glass-window pane,

I see someone running to me, I realize its rain!
I stepped in my own shows, removing the mask over me,
The shining face beneath was making a plea,

Then I realized…

Colors of mist may mock in pride,

Devils of past may ridicule in every premise,
But I look into the mirror,this is when I smile,
I know, I haven’t lost myself, I am a true being inside.

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My sadness


On some days,

My sadness is small ;

As small as a teardrop rolling down my cheek.

And on the others,

It’s too huge to fit into my hands.

It stretches, it expands

And becomes a giant monster.

It visits me on lonely nights 

With lilies and chocolates.

It slits my skin

And pulls out my veins

Like guitar strings 

And plays a strange rhythm. 

It sings gloomy songs to me

And makes me eat bitter memories for dinner.

On some days,

It hides inside my pocket like a baby bird;

And on others,

It holds my hand

Like my lover

And we go out for a walk.

It makes love to me every night 

We blend into each other;

So perfectly that 

We become indistinguishable. 

But when I try to leave,

It screams,

Groans,

Cries,

Howls like a wolf.

It throws the crockery at me

And cuts my skin with a knife.

It bites me

And strangles me until I’m out of breath.

School

I cried when I had to take my first step towards you.
That building of the school, those benches and the atmosphere – everything was new.

I had a way of speaking which was hard to understand, 

I had to muster all my courage to even properly stand.
Days passed, that building grew familiar;

Now I didn’t cry,

Instead, in our uniforms, all we could do is fly.

I loved the blackness of the board and whiteness of chalk,

I loved being with my ‘folks’.

I loved playing hopscotch, drawing square boxes and jumping around.

I loved playing with stones; 

I loved every bit of those days, I was never alone.

Though home works were scary,

But, I managed, at times just barely.
More days passed, that building became my identity;


My uniform became my pride;

Hopes rose high and so did our stupidity.

We had small dreams, just finish ‘boards’ and life would be easy.

In midst of all this we had our first crush, one look enough to make us dizzy.

Love at first sight mixed with innocence;

Love letters were transferred in teachers presence.

Some got caught, some escaped,

But the naughtiness of innocuous days continued.
‘Reproduction’ was to be taught and exams were near,

The attendance reached the summit because of the chapter.

We enjoyed every bit of it, without a doubt,

In that moment we did feel mischievously proud. 
More days passed and we had to take that last step out of that building, 

I cried – we all cried.

Heart felt heavy, mind was numb,

‘Never say goodbye’, we all decided to play dumb.
Those days, we just wanted to grow, run away, to be in college soon,

We didn’t realise then that school was a boon.

We had to grow only to realise that growing is a mistake,

Not something but everything now seems of distaste.
We have cried for years,

remembering every memory that is dear-

That building in which we lost ourselves, 

Those walls that confided in us.

Now that building is memory, that uniform torn, and we are in search of an identity that would last.

Now, we realise, melody was in ‘good morning’ song;

The curves of the six letters is where we did actually belong.

Sweetness was in teachers stick;

True were those bunks, with an application, “with due respect, I am sick”.
I pine, I crave, I long,

For those days that are now long gone.

If it were only memory of those days I wouldn’t mind, 

However it’s me whom I lost and am yearning to find.

Maybe I will find her maybe I will not,

But those days I can never forget.

Tears along with a smile will always roll,

Whenever I look back and think of my school.

Birdy thoughts

I weaved a world,
From twigs and feathers,
Hewn from my beak,
Twined with leaves,
To cocoon you from wind and weather.
A tiny world it was.
Fragile not.
It bestowed you with wings,
And voice and spirit,
Songs of seasons, for you to sing,
With harmony sans lyric.
Flown you have,
Made your choice.
The sky,
Your new world,
And I rejoice.
Your return,
From your worldly sojourn,
I await.
                            
I espy this small nest,
In my big world,
Tucked among leaves,
Under the eaves.
A tiny world it was not.
Fragile not.
It told tales of Wings,
With voice and spirit,
Songs of seasons that I hear you sing,
With harmony sans lyric.
The vagaries of this world you will withstand,
For your world,
I hold,
In my hand,
It is your hearth,
It is my heart.

Diwali

LAMP OF HOPE

Let us kindle the lamp of hope

As echelons of zillion lights adorn,

Pearls of gleams in these autumn nights

To bless us all and rid us of sufferings

Humble thanks to God to give us prosperity 

Let’s share love and delight

People get a chance to express their thoughts 

And reminisces of this festival of lights 

Triumph of good over evil it shows,

Making the less fortunate smile,

Effusing joys to all abound

Where everyone enjoys a royal feast

It seems to be a happy day on Earth

Because I have lit the Lamp of Hope,

This gives me light

Spread this light, there is love for all

True light gives joy in heavenly style

And I wish we feel this way

I will shine for you like a lamp

For the early dawn and the birth of humanity

It provides hope and light for the new beginning.

Shirish 

Shirish asked me if I could write about him and I didn’t say a word.

I remember back in 10 th grade how Shirish wrote a poem and left it on my desk just before the morning assembly.

It was royal blue ink on ruled lines and it smelled like the deodorant he used to wear.

Whats me without you?


I have found my world 

There is only you in it

What is me without you?

Just like night with out its moon 

Summer without its sun 

Stopping a flower from blooming when its almost done 

It is like Dalmatians without spots

A piglet with out pooh

It is like Dori not being in Nemo 

That is me with out you

You are my sun, 

My moon shining on me 

No matter what I am going through.

I wasn’t sure if the girl in the poem was me because I wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the entire school. I couldn’t possibly take his breath away.

I had never thought about it that time.

Showing this to my class teacher and my friends would create more issues and would disturb him as well as me.

I remained passive not reacting even a bit. I was more focused on my target of getting above 90 percent in Secondary School Certificate exams and achieved it too getting 93.
He fell for another classmate three months later. 

I tossed the paper away. The last time I saw him was in the Eichsttat Hall on the School Send off Day . It has been six years but I still carry the poem with me.

Pack me a gift

In the empty streets of city

My dreams search the eyes..

Desperate to enter into their world hollow,

Of misery, lies, and sorrow

Left them blinded not asleep

With colors of some fading evening beneath diamond lit sky

Birds of unbroken empire of dusk, shrugging thier wings to fly

Hey you angels of far off land..take me down to those ruins of time..

Pack me a gift from days young..

Where lips had smile, and hands were full

With sand of time.. hey you angels of forgotten times,

I do not want wake up anymore,

Day streets are empty

No one is mine.

Being with you always 

You enter my lungs

When ever I breathe 

But for me to live 

I need to exhale you 

Inhaling and exhaling you 

Has become  my life 

That will continue 

As long as I am alive 
My heart beats because of you

My heart circulates you 

Everywhere in my body 

You are an inseparable part of me 

My birthday 

So, today it’s my birthday,

So what can I do?

I’m now one year older…and I want to boohoo,

But it’s time to be happy,

A time to rejoice,

A day to remember…that I have a voice,

To express my opinions,

To say what I feel, 

To love and to cherish…all things that appeal,

So, my heart feels gladdened,

I want to cry aloud,

“I’ve made it one more year”…and for that I’m so proud,

But what is life’s purpose? 

Do we to just live and die?

Or should we investigate…the what and the why?

I believe in evolution,

of consciousness — not form,

Yes, my soul is eternal…and I was not born,

For this, I am thankful, 

To my teacher and parents 

Who taught me the Satya…that I’m like no others,

We’re all sole expressions,

of a Superior Godhead,

While remaining still persons…we’re also united,

Simultaneous and different,

And yet united as one, 

The doctrine of Chaitanya…shines like the sun,

Illuminating our consciousness,

With the sound of Harinam, 

My heart soars so high now…on the wings of Sri Ram,

I’m no longer fearful,

Of a thing called, “being dead,”

That ugly grey monster…that hides under my bed.

I now know it’s fiction,

to keep us oppressed,

in a world of illusion…and sensually obsessed,

The “keys” are now with me,

I’ve got the way out,

“Just master the tongue”… I emphatically shout! 

And so, that’s my mission,

To share this simple fact, 

Through practice and precept…my final soul act.

Please share your birthdate so that I can add it to my wish list 

An unfulfilled appointment 

Our dreams lasted too long
But all the reality
Nothing but an unfulfilled appointment!
 
For once I was unable to decide
What pains me more
This poignant or the life without it!
 
The feeling of this aloneness
Amongst everyone around
The torment of this love unsatisfied!
 
It was so easy to love you
Never realised
Would be so hard to forget you!
 
I hear your voice — in silence
That you speak to me
In unspoken words!
 
You detach me from God
And replace Him by yourself
And I wonder whom to worship!
 
Now I am waiting
Till your memory leaves
The chambers of my heart!